I am the type of person who always checks in on others. How are you doing? How was your day? Are you doing okay? I feel that if I can focus on the well-being of others, it will help improve my own well-being. And sometimes, for some people, that can work. But other times, focusing all of your attention and energy on helping others can start to deteriorate your own mental state.

Being kind to others is an important piece of being human. Being kind makes us feel as if we are becoming better people, making someone else’s day, repairing the world. But the problems begin to arise when we focus too much on others and not enough on ourselves. When you do not give yourself the same love and attention that you give to others, it makes it more difficult to fully be present in your own life, which then turns into an interesting predicament. To make yourself feel better, you feel as if you must help others. But if you are not present in your own life, you are not able to support others to the degree to which you truly want to.

This problem does have one solution: take time for yourself once in a while. Tell yourself that every so often, you are going to do something because YOU WANT TO. It is okay to take time for yourself and take charge of what you want to do. Go for a walk, read a book, blast your favorite song over and over again, and do whatever makes you happy.