I’ve always struggled to make friends my own age. I’ve never been part of a big friend group and throughout most of high school, my best friend of 10 years and I floated along at school with just one another. I worried that something was wrong with me because I wasn’t finding my “ride or die'' or joining a typical social group like most other people appear to in high school. Even when I joined BBYO, I fell in love with the movement and enjoyed spending time with the other BBGs in my chapter, but I didn’t feel that immediate sense of belonging that older members always talked about. 

Last summer, that finally changed. I went on full Perlman and had the experience of a lifetime. I can’t say that I immediately found my place, but by the end of the summer, I was part of a friend group of Alephs and BBGs from across the order. For the first time, I have really kept in touch with my friends and after seeing them at IC, I feel confident that I have made friends for life. It sounds like such a cliche, but I found my people. 

Once I got home, I reflected on this and realized a few reasons why I was able to create those bonds over the summer, but not at home. 

1. Camp

When you’re at school, sure, you see the same people every day, but it takes effort and time to make plans to see them outside of school. In a camp environment, you are surrounded by the same people day in and day out, and opportunities to hang out arise naturally. Additionally, when you live with people, you get to know them in a different way than you would at home. Typically, these connections are deeper as opposed to the surface-level interactions had at school. Also, if you’ve never been or didn’t come with anyone from home, camp is the perfect place to be your most authentic self. You’re not surrounded by other people’s preconceived judgments or expectations of you, and this sense of freedom gives you the space to find friends who genuinely like you for who you are. 

2. Judaism

This one is especially true for those of us living in areas where we are one of a few or the only Jewish teens at our school. I’ve always been able to connect with my Jewish peers more easily than I can with my non-Jewish ones. There’s something so special about having a shared understanding with someone you just met. There’s no worry of them being ignorant or rude about your Judaism, and having similar backgrounds is a great start to finding other things in common. Plus, Jewish geography is such a fun way to get to know people!

3. BBYO

Being in BBYO is a pretty good indicator of the type of person someone is. We are a movement of passionate, motivated, and caring leaders. This is especially true of teens who go on summer programs. Personally, I am already more interested in being friends with someone who I know right off the bat has those qualities. BBYO is also an incredible conversation starter. Many of my first conversations with the people I’m closest with now were about similarities and differences in our BBYO experiences and how things are run in our chapters and regions. Conversation naturally shifted into other aspects of our lives and as we spent more time together, our relationship grew stronger. 

Being a more introverted person who has struggled with making and maintaining friendships, I’m so thankful for the environment I was able to spend time in during full Perlman that allowed me to have all three of those things. It created the perfect space to form genuine friendships with incredible people. My BBYO journey throughout high school hasn’t been perfect, but I am leaving with a solid group of people I love who care about me and will support me through whatever comes next in my life, and for that, I am forever grateful.